maybe
+1+
“It’s just a simple. Fold-fold-tuck-tuck.”, Logan smooths out his expertly folded towel
I copy him and he seems shocked that I can manage to fold a
towel properly.
“Impressive.”, Logan says
“I was on laundry detail.”
“In prison ?”, Logan asks but I’ve already said to much. He
wants to hear about prison but I’m not in the mood. I'm never in the mood.
It’s been quiet this week with everyone settling into their summer vacations. Now all I mostly have to do is keep up with maintenance stuff; like doing laundry, mowing the lawns, cleaning. I’d manage to avoid changing the bug traps, Logan hadn’t noticed yet.
“Logan”, I ask loading the towels into a cart to be delivered to the Deluxe and Pine Oak cabins
“Yeah”, he follows me outside with his clipboard in hand
“You ever notice. . . strange things happening in Cascade Falls.”
“Like what ?”
“Like with Ty and her daughters.”
He stops and looks at me like I'm crazy, he's probably wondering why I'm so chatty.
“Ty’s been coming to Cascade Falls since I started visiting as a
kid. I used to date her older daughter Taegan, till she went all Ivy League dance major on me.
That’s why I took you out there that night. They are the family that keeps on giving.” He says suggestively
"Taegan isn't a brunette ?"
"No, she's a redhead with a great smile. . ."
I sigh because he is getting off topic.
“No one’s ever said they saw something that maybe they shoul—“
“Cascade Falls is a great town, Cillian, That’s why I work here every summer. Is something bothering you ?”
“No. I guess . . . nothing”
That was true.
Except for the events from a few nights ago nothing has been
bothering me. I was almost getting used to this place. I didn't hate the demanding guest or the cramped cabin.
Even more important, It seemed my nightmares gone away.
Or so I thought
+++
That night I wake up drenched in sweat, it was like the walls were closing in on me. I stumbled out of bed and make it two feet out the cabin, realizing I have now where to go. Despite my body telling me to sleep, I feel like I will never sleep again.
The nightmares are back.
I had to get out of this town. Sure, not many people would
hire a kid with rap sheet but it would be better than this. This was fucking psychological.
I run out to the lake to cool off, like I usually did when I
couldn’t sleep. I had to be quiet since Drifters were sleeping. In the lake I take the bandages of my hands, over the years the scars have healed over pretty well. I get nauseous thinking about how I got them.
The whole time I couldn’t quite imagine being in the apartment
I had grown up in with Dominick, with his slicked back hair and large girth
shifting around. Mom and I had gone straight from Corcoran to to Cascade Falls. I wonder
what home even looked like now.
I heard something rustle just ahead of me.
“Shit”, I whisper.
If some Drifter saw me prowling around at night, I'd never hear the end of it.
The light remained on and after a few moments it clicked off.I sighed and heard the splashing again. A little ways down the lake ripples were forming.
What are there fucking mermaids in this town now ?
I get closer to the ripples and kneeling down something tiny catches my eyes in the moonlight.
It's April
She is standing in the shallow end of the water, her wings moving causing water to splash over her. She is wearing the same long black dress as before which, now wet, clung to her body. Her leg seems healed now and there is no scar from where the calendar hit her.
She falls back into the lake, opening her wings and floating in the water looking up at me.
“Hello, Cillian”, she says like the devil she is, "I'm all better now, by the way"
I see she has three moles positioned in a triangle at the
corner of her right eye, this birthmark seems stranger than the fact that her eyes are
purple. . . oh and the fucking wings.
“Do you have something to do with my nightmares ? Cause I find it odd that while you were hurt the nightmares went away and now that you’re back . . .”
“I knew you weren’t as dumb as you look”
She was causing my nightmares. Holy fuck. Holy mindfuck.“Why can’t you leave me alone”, It sounded like I was begging, “I need to sleep you know”
“I could”, she said as if I had offended her, “but I wont.”
“Are you like obsessed with me? I don't want to remeber those things.”
“Don’t be ridiculous , you’re not special. You’re just . . . new. I like new.”
“I’m serious April”, I said, “Leave me alone or. . .”
“Or what”, she asks, “You’ll catch me and keep me trapped in your closet ? Is that really who you are, big guy ?”
As if being pulled by an invisible string she lifts smoothly into the air. Her wings are still then slowly began to flap when shes is eye level with me.
My instinct was to hit her, hit it…. Anything with wings really.
“Sweet dreams, Cillian”
She comes eye level with me and then turns, fluttering her wings on my face.
“Jesus Christ”, I start swatting and fall into the lake. Lights from the cabins click on and I hide underwater till the coast is clear.
Fuck this
+++
I sneak away from the campground in the morning. I figured I would come up with some lie why I wasn’t picking up my work phone. I’m sure all the hours I was working was against some labor laws anyway.
I steal Logan’s keys from the welcome center and drive his
Ford into town, I’m sure to fill it up as a peace offering.
Ty’s has just opened for the day but most of the tourist sleep till noon, in the morning I barley recognized the place.
There are pink checkered table clothes and daffodils on the table. It smells like coffee and maple syrup. Glass cases usually filled with liquor now showed off cakes and the jukebox is playing classic family friendly songs everyone knew.
“Hi, Cillian”, Ty says from behind the bar. The standard uniform was now a pink t-shirt and jean shorts, “Getting breakfast for your grandfather ? I made some butter pecan waff-”
“No, I’m here about April.”
She taps a pencil against the counter and looks confused as she places a cake in the display case.
“Who is April ?”
“Your other daughter. The one with the moles and eyes . . .”, I start make gestures but I can’t say it.
Ty looks over to where Thistle and Tirney were rolling napkins in the corner.
“Taegan ? She’s studying abroad.”
“No, April”, I say leaning in knowing I sound crazy, “I know you are like her. She was in my room. . . she’s been torturing me… in my sleep. I'm having Nightmares”
Her mouth opens as if to say “oh”, but she says nothing.
“That’s how she made it home that night”, she says to herself
So she didn’t think I was crazy. Which meant there was some sort of not right voodoo in this town.
“Please”, I say, “Make her stop. Make it stop and I--”
“April is not my daughter and I can’t exactly tell her what to do. . . no one can, really.”
The look on Ty’s face got the attention of Tirney and Thistle who were now making their way over.
“Everything okay, Mom ?”, Tirney asks cutting her eyes at me.
Ty didn’t take her eyes off me, and for the first time I wondered if maybe I had made a mistake. If maybe I had stumbled onto something that was a secret for a reason. I wondered what they could do to me.
“It’s fine”, Ty says. She takes my hand, “I’ll . . . talk to her”
Thistle and Tirney are staring me down, they look afraid and vicious at the same time. I believe Ty though, I fee like I can trust her.
“I. . . uh. . . won’t tell anyone. . . about you . . . er her. . .uh-”, I kind of say.
“We know”, said Ty, “you won’t want to know what happens if you do.”
They all seemed suddenly in sync. They blink and breath at the same time.
The tension was cut instantly when the door opens and the breakfast crowd comes in.
“Here”, says Ty brightly as if she hadn’t just threatened me, “Have some cake. On me”
She cuts a slice of the cake and wraps it up for me.
“Peanut Butter chocolate, It’s Jerry’s favorite”, she adds.
I toss the box when I get outside.
+++
Isabel is in tears
Isabel Sierra’s dad was a night manager over at Pachenga Casino and Spa. During the day Big John invited her over to the apartment for dinner so she wouldn’t be alone.
We played video games, did homework and hung out by the 7-Eleven drinking Slurpees and people watching.
Isabel was trouble. Her boyfriends where always on the bad
side of something, most of them were down right evil.
So when we started dating her, I knew I didn’t stand a chance at being a good person
A boy called her a slut, I beat the shit out of him.
Her ex boyfriend piss her off, I beat the shit out of him.
Her cousin steal her car, well you know.
My name is Cillian O'Conner
No rules, Not for sport or glory.
Money? Maybe, but that was it.
I got so good at it I started fighting in parks after hours
for money. I'd cut my knuckles on grown men's teeth, bled from my eyes and lost two teeth all before I was 17 years old.
Isabel fueled me. She always bet on me. She covered for me in school when I was to banged up to come in and stopped the teachers from calling CPS when my bruises didn't heal.
She called me her big and strong protector. It would get any guy off.
His friends needed to send a message to a rez gang and I was getting pretty good at sending those kind of messages. It was supposed to send a message . . . not send someone to the grave.
I killed a man. With my bare hands, when I was barley a man myself.
It didn’t start out that way, the cops broke up the fight early on and I ran. I still don't know who turned me over but the next day I was arrested.
The guy I took down made it out of the hospital okay and he was fine. It was just cut and dry assault
and a year in juvie. I could handle that.
Six months later the guy dies in another fight . His family and lawyer decide to go after me. Claiming it was because of the injuries I gave him that he died. Nothings was ever 100% conclusive, but it was enough for involuntary manslaughter.
It’s enough for 5 years in prison.
Appeals got me 2 1/2
At 17 years old. I was kid among giants.
That first night in prison was a trip. The comrade we juvie kids had was gone. Suddenly no one
had hope for me and I was scared shitless.
That first night I was sleeping facing the wall sharing a small room with 4 guys 20-30 years older than me. I was trying not to cry because this was going to be a long few years and Isabel wasn’t waiting for me anymore.
Somehow a white moth from the outside fluttered in through the grates, followed by another. They danced around the florescent lights a few more joined and I was paralyzed.
If the other guys new I was afraid of tiny moths it was going to be a rough sentence. I bit my lip till it bled and more moths found their way in.
This was my punishment for what I done.
“Get me out of here.”, I yelled but the night guard shrugged.
I banged and pulled on he bars while the moths now ugly brown and spotted continued to fill the cell.
I screamed but my screams just died in the rest of the screams one hears in prison at night. My throat was raw and burning with blood. I screamed until I couldn’t scream any more.
+2+alexalr
My eyes shoot open in the cabin, I felt like I’ve taken a swim and am sweating through my shirt. My eyes instantly find the darting light by the window.
I grab the mason jar from under the bed and before April can realize what is happening, I slam the lid and jar down on that tiny bitch.
Her arms are folded and she looks puffed-up and pissed off. She bangs on the glass with her fist and to be honest it’s kind of cute.
She backs up and starts hovering in the jar
“You told on me”, she says in a mocking manner
“Leave me the fuck alone, April”, I say
“Admit, you’re afraid of me”, she says in a mocking voice, “ A big guy like you afraid of a teeny tiny set of wings”
"You're not exactly playing fair, don't mess with my nightmares. . .my memories."
I set the jar down on the nightstand. How was I supposed to handle this ? I lay back down and try to use “problem solving skills” but nothing comes to mind. I’d almost drifted off to sleep when I hear her take a heavy breath
Then another
And another.
There were no holes in the jar.
She bangs her open palms against the jar.
“You going to leave me alone ? Say you will and I'll let you out”
She is turning red and holding her chest with one hand. The other is against the glass and in the corner of my eyes I feel the anxiety of a nightmare coming on. I hear the chatter of bugs and crawling things. I'm terrified suddenly but I fight it.
It's not real. It's not natural. The nightmares aren't real. I tell myself that and mentally it burns like a hard work out, but the anxiety fades away.
Her eyes open wide in surprise.
She puts both palms on the glass and her wings move so fast it’s a blur.
At first I think my eyes are deceiving me, that reality seems to shift and the jar is getting smaller.
No.
She was getting bigger, the jar starts making a hissing sound as the space closes.
There is a loud pop as the jar breaks and the lights in the cabin flicker. I back away as she hovers at full height above me.
With a growl she grabs me by the collar with one hand and lifts me to the high ceiling of the cabin. My back pressed against the crumbling beams. If she drops me I will die.
“Be afraid Cillian O’Conner”, she says breathing hard.
Not so cute anymore.
Her dark purple eyes steel into mine, and I wonder if I brace myself if I could survive the fall,.. At the same time I notice she is pressed up so close to me that I can tell she isn’t wearing a bra.
She has her other hand on my collar and pushes me hard against the beam. I think the celing is going to crack. Her eyes study my face and she narrows her eyes.
She was stronger than she looks
I decide to beg for my life.
When I open my mouth her lips crash into mine.
Somehow I ended up kissing her back, her lips are full and soft and I want more. She forces my mouth to move with hers and when I let out an unexpected groan we both open our eyes. She smells like rain and flowers and taste just as sweet.
The air rushes out of me as we plummet full speed back to the ground. I swear my
heart skips a beat as we stop suddenly just inches from the bed. She has
already gotten my shirt off and in seconds I take the last few inches and fall
hard on the mattress
“Cillian”, she whispers my name.
I pull her down to me, something telling me I don’t want to know what she has to say. I just want her.
“You’re not the bad guy”, she continues her the black wings expand above me, “But I am”
She was right, but for the next hour I didn’t care.
+++
Up close those thin black wings weren’t so terrifying or anxiety inducing. I think it’s being so far away so unsure of what those tiny bastards look like is what makes them hard to take. Then again the big ones were scary too.
April’s arms were over her head, her eyes were closed and I take a chance to maybe over step a line.
I traced the tip of her wings, between my fingers, they seemed so delicate and thin. Not like the dry rustle of the grasshoppers. Looking closely I could see tiny lines making pattern across the wings.
Growing up we’d had plenty of folktales about strange creatures or magical people. Maybe they weren’t just stories. They were always tricksters though. That I remembered.
She sighs in her sleep, her legs from her thighs to her ankles are covered in Celtic white tattos. I recognized the symbols O’Conner camping sign. Legs which were now tangled in my moss green sheets.
Check one off my summer vacation/ get out of prison to do list.
Kind of.
She laughs and rubs her eyes
“What”, I said pulling on my wrinkled polo and khaki shorts. I had 6 missed calls on my work phone
“You told on me. To Ty.”, she says really amused, “What are you 6 ?”
“No”, I said
“You don’t say much do you, big guy”, she leans on one hand and watches me.
“No”, I said.
“Who’s Isabel ?”, she says matter-of-factly.
“Stay out of my head, April. How do you even do that ?”
“Wouldn't you like to know.”
She turns her back to me and slips her dress back on. I stop at the door remembering what she said the first time we er—met.
“Hey so what you said before about Thistle and Tirney. . . the. . . er. . . mating thing.”
“Oh, the Enchanting thing ?”, she spins indicating her full size , “It’s only real purpose is to attract human mates. Now they use it to blend in.”
“So, you--I mean did we just- - Uh—“
“Don’t flatter yourself, big guy. You're just the hottest thing in this backwater town, which isn't say much . . . and I was bored.”
“Couldn’t you just pick someone your own size ?”, I say half joking.
She looks confused by the question and continues looking
around the cabin. I want to explain to her that only the duffel on the floor
belongs to me, but she is flipping though old baseball cards, pornos and CDs the foreman left behind.
I can’t figure out how to frame my next questions such as ; what the fuck are you ? Why are you in Cascade Falls ? What the hell is going on. But when I turn around. . . she is gone
+++
The sun beats down on me and I try to block it all out blaring music from my dollar store headphones. I can’t even hear the music over the lawn mower. More grunt work while Logan gets to sit inside with the air conditioning.
I can hear laughing though
I look over by the lake and see a group of Drifter Girls along with Thistle and Tirney who are the onl ones not wearing bikinis. One of the girls I recognize as Lydia, a Drifter girl I’d hung out with the night I took April home.
When the girls pack up to leave I watch as Thistle breaks free from the group. I don’t know if she and April are friends but I’m a little scared what she is going to say when she comes over.
“They work you like a dog out here”, she has a bottle of water in her hand and offers it to me
“Thanks, Thistle”, I make a point to use her name, her blue eyes brighten she doesn’t seem to mind.
“Are you going to Logan’s Midsummer party? If he didn’t invite you can come with us.”
I’m sure Logan would invite me , but I’d been avoiding him all day. People were starting to complain about the bug traps I was to afraid to clean.
“Yeah, maybe.”
She leans against the tree and I see she is about to get to why she really came over here.
“I don’t want you to think I’m the bitchy cousin, but if April is bothering you just ignore her. She’s troubled.”
“Trust me, I’ve gotten everything I need from her. A guy like me needs a girl who is zero trouble”
She smiles and it’s so goddamn infectious even I make it to something past a smirk.
“Well every athlete should take a little ballet so if you want to stop by—“
“Yeah, I’m not excalty an athlete.”
“Really ? I've seen you working out and your dad was--”
“Don’t tell me you're one of those groupies”
“I like baseball and all . . . but my mom said this town really loved him. They hurt after he died, it was so tragic”
“Yeah, those mountain roads are dangerous. ”
She gives me a small smile.
“Come by the restaurant for dinner tonight. I think the fryer is fixed I can save you some fries”
“Yeah, I should finish up here”, I point my chin to where Logan is watching me.
“Sorry, I’ll see you tonight”, she gives Logan an apologetic look.
When she heads off to
find Tirney and Lydia, Logan gives me the two thumbs up and nod his head.
When the lawn in front of the cabins are mowed, I deliver some fresh towels and linens, set up a tent for the Phillips party and answer messages.
Near the end of the day I jump in the lake to cool off , throwing on a worn flannel over my dingy white tank top. I’ve gotten used to the fact that this job meant I’d always be covered in dirt.
+3+
The dinner crowd at Ty’s has a different ambiance than the morning, the tables
all have cloths and fake candles on them. A live cover band plays on stage.
Families are sitting at the tables while the single crowd is scoping each other out around
the huge bar. Some are playing pool in the back.
The county rock band is playing some twangy slow song; couples are wrapped around one another on the dance floor. I keep an eye out for Thistle but I don’t see her.
I lean against the bar and look out for her on the dance floor.
It's mostly middle aged couples who seem lost in their own world. Many I recognize from the campground a. Some don't seem to know if they should say hi to me or give me a tip.
A tall guy in a cowboy hat slowly turns on the floor with his partners arms around his necks. I expect it to be Thistle, but of course it’s April. I can just see the back of her wavy hair as she lays her cheek on his shoulder.
Her white ink tattooed legs are almost fully exposed by her short black dress, she is also wearing flat black cowboy boots. The guy she is dancing with looks like he is on cloud nine, he is enchanted by these women. Like every man in this town.
She touches her nose to his and says something that makes him laugh. I close my hand into a fist when I think they are going to kiss, but they don’t. After that ice breaker he moves his hands lower on her waist and they continue dancing.
When the song ends everyone on the floor stops and claps as the band takes a break, April sticks her fingers in her mouth and whistles. She walks back to a corner table by herself.
Everyone in the bar takes notice of how she seems to . . . strut.
I take a deep breath and venture over to her table. Without a word she kicks out the chair and I sit. Tirney is leaning over the table having dropped off a plate of Quesadillas and french fries.
“Haven’t seen you around here before”, I start
“Most people don’t”, she says, "This summer is going to be different."
I consider picking up a fry then I look up at her.
“This food is like . . . normal right?”, I ask
She rolls her eyes and holds in a laugh.
“Yeah, the food isn’t want you should worry about”
She pushes the plate of fries towards me. She looks at me like she is trying to figure me out. I know I’m trying to figure her out.
“I just wanted to thank you for last night”
“Oh”, she says amused, “That wasn’t your first time was it ?”
“No, not that. The whole not making me have a nigh---“
“Change the subject”, she says sternly
“You didn’t tell your, er cousins ? About us ?”
“No”
That was it. I don’t know what else to talk to her about. So even though I was here to see Thistle, I asked her out like a fucking idiot.
“Well, there is a party at Logan's. . . are you going ?”
She laughs, it’s loud and people take notice
“Oh, please”, she rolls her eyes, “Like I want to go to a lame-ass tourist party the manger throws.”
“Might be fun.”
“Just because I’m sharing my food with you doesn’t mean we have to talk. Thistle had to handle college stuff so you might as well leave.”
“I want to talk”, I said, “ No one is telling me anything. I want to know why and how you can---“
“Keep it down”, she whispers, “We can play twenty questions tomorrow. How about at the creek ?”
“I have to work. Some of us have jobs.”, I say
“Just forget it”, she says, “I’m just a normal girl, okay.”
She leans back in her chair and one look into her deep violet eyes and I can not leave this alone.“But you’re not. You’ve been making my nights here hell. . .are you all in on this—“
“This has nothing to do with them”, she places her chin on her hands and watches Tirney and and Ty talking.
“Look maybe you can stop by cabin 16 around 6. I’m babysitting but the kids are pretty independent so…”
“Maybe”, she says and jumps as two hands clap on her shoulders.
I like that someone has taken her by surprise. I like even better that it was Logan.
“What up “, Logan kneels by the table, “Whose your friend, Cillian ? Sweetheart, You know this is Cirian O’Conner’s son. His dad was the baseball legend.”
I appreciate Logan’s attempts at trying to play me up. April grabs the next guy who walks by and with a nod convinces him to dance with her.
“What’s her deal ?”, Logan says eating her leftover food
“I have no fucking idea.”
“What’s her name ?”
I watch her wrap her arms around the new guys neck and I remember.
“I have no fucking idea.”
The Nightmares come back that night.
This was all just a whisper of an idea I wasn't even going to continue with until I heard Too Close by Alex Clare on a commercial and proceeded to write that scene. Shortly after that NAF was shelved. The song became a Top 40 hit after that everytime I heard it I wanted to tackle NAF again. The "Too Close" section and the previous chapter and an obvious part of next chapter were all I had written so long ago. So we are reaching the "new stuff"
The name Isabel showed up here first. Lux's Isobel was supposed to be a placeholder name. Oh, well.
Fun Fact : SH, I linked to those post because "April C" had some fun with the comments.
