+1+
We go camping the next day. I don’t want to admit to April that I’ve never been camping before, but before I can say anything April somehow finds a tent under the mass of shit in the cabin.
It’s just big enough for the two of us to fit; I have the electric lantern on and can’t help but notice how odd it is that all the insects keep a distance from us.
She has her what I’m going to call ‘freaky- as-hell faerie books’ spread out. I can’t understand the language they are written in, it literally looks like Greek to me.
I can see the pictures though and despite everything I’ve seen, seeing pictures of old maps and winged women makes it all seem so real. I guess the stories have to come from somewhere.
“I wish I could understand more of it”, she says, “Ty is such a bitch she won’t even teach me the dialect. I’ll be so behind when it’s time. ”
“How do you plan to get your mom’s attention?”
“By being fucking awesome”, she says seriously and pours back over the book. She’s never in a playful mood when the books are open
“So is your real name somewhere in here.”
“No”, she closes the book. She’s suspicious, “Only a Fae and her name giver know her true name. It’s to precious to be written down. Like a social security number.”
She sits up on her knees and stacks the books behind her.
“Why are you so curious.”
“I’m just trying to get to know you.
She doesn’t seem completely satisfied with that answer, but I let the subject slide.
“Let’s play truth or dare.”
“You’re full of games aren’t you ?”
“You’ve heard the stories. . .we Fae like to play games”, she says but not seriously, “I pick truth.”
I think about this because there are a lot of things I want to know about April Cottingley.
“Why me ? Why have you been giving me nightmares.”
“You’re no fun”, she leans back against me , “Usually I go from person to person. At first it was because you were new and cute. I wanted to get inside your head. Nightmares are powerful things, Cillian. To create a nightmare allows me to know what you fear the most. I’d been practicing for years on the locals and rich tourist—“
“Drifters, Logan calls them Drifters, remember”
“Drifters. But you were the first person who had real fears. Who’d faced nightmares even when you were awake. You’d never guess the way you move around here all quiet when you have so much to be afraid of—
“Truth”, I say to change the subject.
She thinks hard on this and I hope she doesn’t bring up prison, the man I killed or my family. Then again I realize that it maybe all I am to her. Or maybe that is all I am.
“What’s the one thing you want do but haven’t since getting out.”
“Honestly, I could use some decent damn french fries.”
She laughs, it’s subtle but it’s there. She settles back against my chest. For a moments it’s quiet just the sound of insects buzzing. She turns the lantern down a little bit and settles her back into my chest.
“Dare.” she picks
“I dare you to kiss me.”
She puts her arms around my neck and turns her head so I can reach down to meet her mouth. Her fingertips are warm against my neck, they entwine as she pushes herself closer to me. We kiss for so long that I forget we are playing a game.
My hands are already moving down her waist, pulling up the fabric of her long dress until till her white inked knees and thighs are visible. I search and trace the tattoed symbols looking for her name there. I feel her hands tremble a little this so I continue tracing and studying the symbols, until my finger disappear beneath her dress.
At this April turns to straddle me, her sharp black nails running up and down my chest.
“Yeah, you’re built to be a fighter. . . a protector”, she decides.
“But I’m not”, I remind her. She reachs down kiss my neck and chest.
“ I know. . .I’m sorry for that. Sometimes I’m so blinded by all this”, she gestures at the books.
“I. . .I could be your protector”, I say because I can. It’s what I did for Isabel; I can do it for any girl.
" I may take you up on that. You promise ?"
"Yes"
I want to tell her maybe she is built for something other than being a Dark Fae, but now I’m not so sure. She’d made my nightmares so vivid I couldn’t tell when I was awake or a sleep. She’d made a house full of people beg for daylight. She’s used nightmares to steal and cheat.
She was built for darkness and I was being pulled in.
April gently takes my face into her palms and breaks my trance. She coaxes my mouth open and I kiss her again. . . hard. Suddenly I don’t think either of us could have let go if we even wanted to. We are wrapped in each other; arms, legs, lips and tongues. Anything and everything
When she lowers herself to me she hisses in the good way as her wings gently unfold grazing the edges of the tent. My tongue sweeps the strawberry flavored trail of glitter sparkling between her breast disappearing down her v-neck. I’m mesmerized by the tremor of the ethereal black appendages.
“Don’t be—“
“I’m not afraid”, I finish.
She smiles when I finish her sentence. She takes my lip between her teeth, initiating a slow hot kiss. There is nothing but the sound of our hitched breathing and the slight rustle of her wings. I feel her knees tighten around me and the slow pleasurable pace of her hips.
“Cillain”, she says my name into my mouth, “. . . Cillian”,
Her arms lock around my neck and I pull them tighter. I want her to hold on; I don’t want this moment to end.
It’s on the tip of my tongue. I want to say her name. I want to. But I don’t know it. I growl in frustration over this fact. I fasten my arms around her waist and before she knows what’s happening I pick her up and flip her on her back.
“Dare.”, I say between breaths
“What ?”
“Dare”, I repeat
The three moles on the side of her eyes quirk as she smiles catching my drift. I'm still playing her game. Her fingers run through my short hair and it feels like there is nothing outside. . . nothing in the world except her and me.
+2+
“So remember I had him just like this.”
April locks her ankles behind my back as I settle between her legs. My arms are bent slightly and I fight other urges while trying to focus on recapping the fight from Friday night. I can barley hear myself over April’s laughing.
“Right and then, you . . .”, she pulls my head down to her stomach and brings her legs up my neck , squeezing me into a headlock with her ankles. I could easily get out of it but decide not to.
I’d lightened up since my fight with Bulldog and had taken to playfully reenacting it with April. I also had my dare which I was holding against her. We’re both laughing as she lets me go and I fall onto my back.
“Then the crowd goes fucking wild for Cillian O’Conner.” She puts her fingers in her mouth and whistles.
“Shhh, people might be still be sleeping.”
“It’s the fucking afternoon I’ll let this whole damn camp know that. . .”
“That what ?”
“That the guy I like can kick anyone’s ass . . . with my help.”
She starts picking apart a wildflower and waits for me to respond. Knowing me this could be a while.
“You like me ? You seem to like a lot of guys”
“Yeah, well I like like you.”
She crawls over to where I am trying to return to my push ups and jumps onto my back. I almost fall but she weighs practically nothing. My arms burn a little but I manage one more push-up and she holds on for dear life.
“I like like you to”, I say because that’s what you say when you find a girl you like over the summer. Right ?
“Good.”
“Good”
April suddenly scrambles off my back and stands up. I see Jerry pushing his walker up the hill towards us. I’m not sure what expression to have on my face so I stick to stoic. Jerry looks. . . cautious. At least that’s not angry.
“Jerry”, I start getting control of the situation, "This is my friend, April."
Jerry looks her over and I know what he must think when he sees April and her tight black ripped tank top, black shorts and purple shoes of death. I’m glad she doesn’t go for black eyeliner and lipstick. She once told me she hated makeup.
“Young lady, this is private property—“
“She’s my friend—“
“CIllian”, Jerry cut me off
“It’s okay, I have to go”, April says.
She stands up and quietly moves past Jerry and down the hill. Jerry watches her every move.
“It’s not—“, I start.
“That girl”, Jerry says when he sure she is gone, “Something is not right about her.”
I wonder if Jerry is just sensing her not being completely human. Maybe his Irish parents told him stories of people like her. Or maybe he just thought she was bad news.
“She’s cool. . . uh, Ty’s family and all. You like Ty right?”
“I don’t want her near my property again unless she’s payin. ”, He says.
“She’s just a local girl. It’s my day off I can do what I want.”
“Cillian I don’t care.”
“It’s a little late to start acting like a parental figure, Jerry.”
“Excuse me.”
Just like that the gloves come off. No more niceties not more trying to make each other happy. Those two words change everything.
“You know what I mean. You think it makes you grandfather of the year to invite me to work up here for 6 bucks an hour with only three free weekends. What is this supposed to make up for all the years you forgot about me ?”
“Watch you mouth. “
“I’m only up here because I’m cheap labor. Cause you can't afford anyone else.”
“If I could hire a full staff and give a full wage I would, alright ? But I got medical bills up to the Sierra Nevada. I needed workers you needed a job. We are helping each other out. That’s what family does.”
I realize this fight isn’t about April anymore. Maybe this was the real fight I’d been looking for. I think I’d rather take on Bloody Bulldog again.
“Jerry, we aren’t family. You were never there for me. Ever. You know what ? I think I may have needed you or something, because my dad’s is dead. Everything I know about him fits on a baseball card.”
Jerry seems unsteady in his walker. He slowly starts to turn and I feel like I should follow him or something.
“I wish, Cillian”, he says, “I wish everything I knew about your father fit on a baseball card. It was always me, him, baseball and these mountains. Those are things I don’t want to remember anymore.”
I launch myself into a full run down the hill and past Jerry. My afternoon went from high to shit in less than five minute. I run until I’m lost and everything is out of focus. Whatever I do I just don’t stop running
+3+
“Lock the door.”
“It’s locked.”
“Check again.”
I jog back over to the welcome center front door and jiggle the knob.
Oops it wasn’t locked. I flip the switch locking it.
I hadn’t told April about my fight with Jerry. Jerry and I hadn’t spoken since then, which wasn’t hard because I usually kept to my cabin.
Logan had noticed the tension between Jerry and I when he picked Jerry up this morning to go to Lake Tahoe for his doctor’s appointment. Before the fight I might have gone, now at least Jerry and I knew where we stood.
“It’s locked”, I pulled on the welcome center door.
“Fine, lets get this over with.”
This was my dare to April. Today I really needed something to brighten my day.
April sat in the middle of the welcome center; I had pushed all the furniture back leaving nothing but a open space.
She was wearing a flimsy black skirt and tank top, bending at the waist strapping on a pair of non-scary black ballet shoes. Shoes I’d seen her carry when she first came to the Coleman’s with me..
“Okay”, she stands up, “Are we good, are we done ?”
“No, you have to actually. . . you know. . dance, princess”
“Why”, she whines.
“Payback ?”, even though I think she might have wanted o do it. Kind of like maybe I kind of wanted to fight Bloody bulldog.
She points one foot out and raises the other to stand on the tip of her foot still planted on the ground. She raises her eyebrows like that’s all she needs to do to finish the dare.
“Spin”, I encourage her.
She gives me the finger
“It’s called piroutte”, she corrects me and pirouettes perfectly. Or at least it looks good to me.
“Can we stop, dare completed.”
“Don’t stop . I got the shit beat out of me because of you. Impress me.”
“You know if you keep hanging out with me that’s probably going to happen a lot.”
She stands on both of her toes and spins three times across the floor, coming to slow stop infront of me. She’s surprisingly gracefully. She kisses me and steps off her toes.
“You know if there was a pole in here I could really show you something.”
“Are you kidding ?”
“How do you think I met my last boyfriend ? I mean until he fired me.”
That explained the body glitter.
The window rattles and I turn to see Tirney and Thistle on the other side of the windows. They are smiling really hard and motion for me to open door. I’m just glad it’s not a guest.
“Don’t you dare---“
Before April can stop me I open the door to the welcome center and they rush in a flurry and crowed around April.
“That was so good, it’s been so long sense you’ve dance properly”, Tirney is the happiest I’ve seen her.
“That wasn’t dancing, Tirney. That was me completing a dare for my—um—Cillian. How’s Ty.”
Tirney shoots a speculative glance at me then goes back to April. I guess they aren’t going to mention they saw us kiss.
“Mom's been in kind of a moody lately, on the phone a lot. She’s worried about you.”
“Well”, April balances on Tirney so she can untie her shoes, “She has nothing to be worried about. I’ll be gone soon”
“Seriously ? you are never going to find your way the court, just be human and be happy.”
“So, I’ll backpack for awhile. At least I won’t be here. Besides if everything goes right Thesia will come to me.”
They seem to have forgotten I was there and I realize this was how it was supposed to go. Whatever we had was for the summer only, why was I getting so hung up.
Thistle has been quiet this whole time, she has this practiced smile on her face. I realize I may have lead her on earlier this summer.
Thistle motions for me to follow her towards the back counter. She starts helping me move the small furniture and rugs back in place. She knew this place pretty well.
“I used to babysit for the parents here, I don’t have much time now.”
“Really ?”, that was a stupid thing to say.
“Yeah”, she says, “I started when I was 13 or 12 and I did it every summer since.”
“Thistle—“
“Cillian”, she watched Tirney and April talk although they are getting pretty tense, “You know that night we were supposed to met me at the restuarnt and I didn’t show.”
“Yeah---April said you were busy”
“She lied”, she rolls out a rug, “I was in dreamland”
“She didn’t—“
“She did. I love April, I do. But she can’t help who she is. Whatever she is planning or doing needs to play out for her. I don’t want you getting dragged down in it.”
What were the chances she’d be at Ty’s the night I was supposed to met Thistle ? I’d thought maybe it was luck or chance. I should have met with Thistle that night. I should have been with her.
I walk back ready to confront April about this when the door opens and Jerry and Logan storm in.
+4+
“What this ?”, Jerry asks, “What did I tell you ?"
Logan looks around confused, but I think he is more disspointed in me for slacking on the job.
“Go to sleep.”
April’s voice is soft and welcoming. I feel light on my feet but still manage to make it over to where Jerry is slumping against his walker.
There is a tingling anxiety building up at the base of my neck. I can hear them. I can hear the grasshoppers buzzing song and the sounds of something creeping in the night. I’m also aware of Tirney, Thistle and Logan also being lulled to a frightening sleep.
I feel like Bulldog has punched me again. My eyes are ringing but I know it will be over soon. I push through the pain. It’s like I’m running up hill, I’ve been doing that since I got here.
Make it to the top
I visualize it, running.
It’s not real.
April’s violet eyes are wide. I can see the three mole in the corners tremor as she approached me. I settle Jerry gently on the floor where I hear him whispering Cirian’s name.
April kneels down next to me taking my face in her hands. Her eyes are frosted over and I can’t stop looking at them
“Go to sleep, Cillian.”
It’s not real. It’s not real.
“No.”
She studies me confused. She pulls back and steps over the slumbering bodies. She stumbles out the door and makes a dash for the treeline.
“APRIL”, I shout and follow her.
“Leave me alone.”
“What was that ?”, I called.
She stops in the middle of the forest. I’m suddenly all to aware of all the real bugs out here. I noticed there are a handful of butterflies hovering near her. I keep my distance.
“I panicked. I didn’t want you to get in trouble with Jerry. He’ll wake up and forget he saw me. I was trying to help -”
“What about Logan and Thistle and Tirney ?”
“I don’t know . . . it’s hard to control. .. how do you do that ? Fight it ? You’ve done it before. At the party.”
“ I don’t know. When I knew it was fake. . . that it was you I could fight it. I just had to get past the mental burn. . . It’s like my workouts. “
She looks frantically between the woods and the direction from which we came.
“They’re waking up. You should go back. I’m sorry Cillian. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not me you have to apologize for. You can’t solve all your problems that way.”
“God you are starting to sound like, Ty. I need to go ”
She turns heading further into the forest.
“Where are you going ?”
“I just need some time alone. Things are . . . . changing. I can feel it.”
The butterflies flutter away from her and towards me, I go stiff and swat them away. When I open my eyes turn she is gone.
I take my time heading back to the welcome center. Tirney and Thistle are making some excuses to Jerry and Logan, some bullshit about a heat wave.
I keep my eyes on the treeline, expecting to catch a glimpse of her. I never do. Not that day or the next or the next.
+5+
It’s not easy getting April out of my head. Without her I spend more time at Ty's getting to know a few of the Drifters my age. They are pretty interesting but too normal and similar for me to remember their names.
Ty’ doesn’t speak to me when I come in, she always seems to be busy.
When I do see her again she is sitting on short wall by McGill’s Grocery. She has on black capris and a shirt with that shows her off her stomach.
Logan is also with me, we are doing Jerry’s yogurt run. Apparently Mr. McGill has started special ordering him cases.
“Need a minute”, Logan asks while doing something odd with his eyebrows.
“I. . . uh don’t know”
“Summer isn’t going to last forever, you know.”
Logan grabs the cart from me and pushes it in the store, kicking his feet up on the back of it. The door closes as I hear him call out Mr. McGill’s name.
“Havn’t seen you around”, I say cautiously. I don’t want her to leave.
“Working”, she says bringing both her feet on the wall.
“I’ve never seen you lift a finger.”
She then raises her middle finger at me.
“There”, she said,”. . . so it your old man okay ?”
“Yeah, I mean we don’t really talk but he seems okay.”
April hops down from the wall and take my hand.
“You should come down to amateur night at--"
“Uhh . . .no.”
“What ? I watched you get your ass kicked you can watch me—“
“No”, I say sternly. Cause I'm not ready to leave town with her again.
“Okay okay. . .wait are we breaking up ?"
"No.", I say that softly
"I know I blew you off. Nut I really need to have fun this summer. Please. You need this too."
"Okay"
"Promise. Nothing will ever get between us."
"I promise", I say because that's what you say to a girl you like over the summer. That's what you say to every other girl except this one.
+6+
“I just don’t think it’ very cheery is all”
“Calm down, honey.”
“I’m just saying—“
I looked up from folding towels in the welcome center to see Mr and Dr. Coleman come in. Anna and Mark wave to me and head over to the free cookies Jerry has set up.
They pick up some sunscreen and other overpriced outdoor stuff.
“Cillian”, Dr. Coleman starts. She has one of those East coast Northern accents, “One of the guest I think . . . someone’s kid maybe is monopolizing the land by the lake. I mean it’s not a big deal. . . it’s just we pay a lot for the view and—“
“It’s nothing”, Mr. Coleman interjects, “Just a teenager being moody. Hey. . . Can we bother you to baby-sit tomorrow, we’re going hiking.”
He sounds proud of himself when he says the part about the mountain.
“Sure”
Logan honks the horn outside. Cause apparently Logan can also drive a bus, he has a fucking commercial drivers license. The Colemans get the kids together to catch the bus before it departs to the luxury mall in Reno.
Their conversation kept coming back to me. I didn’t think they were talking about April, she wouldn’t be so obvious. Would she ?
I abandoned the towels and took a walk outside. The front of the welcome center looked fine so I walked up the path towards the Deluxe cabins. From a distance nothing was out of place, then I noticed someone by the lake.
The person was wearing all black and sitting cross-legged in the middle of the land between the front of the cabins and the lake. Was her--. No my eyes were playing tricks on me
It was a girl, I couldn’t tell her age because of how large her black circular shade were. My mom had a knock off pair of those shades, they must have been expensive. She must have been a Drifter. She was tiny though and I could hear her coughing.
My eyes weren't playing tricks. Her hair was a light frothy purple, it was like the color of cotton candy.
“Uh, hey”, I said realizing I was about to do something really “work-like”. I mean when you go out of your way to fix something at your job, didn’t that mean you cared. . . or that you might have liked it ?
The girl turned to look up at me.
“Uh”, I started, “umm— are you staying here ? Cause this is private property and--”
“My family is”, she says. She has a really polished mature voice. Probably older than she looked.
“Can I help you with something? I can call back the bus if you want to —“
“Cillian”, she said
Holy Fuck
“H-hhow do you know my name ?”
“You’re Cillian O’Conner. . . you’re the one.”
“Who are you ? You can’t be here if you aren’t a guest. I’ll call the cop—“
“My name is Penelope.”
She offers me her hand and I’m to afraid to take it. She jabs it at me again and this time I shake it. She stands. She’s short , small, compact almost.
“Who is your family ?”
“The Cottingleys. We are . . . distantly related.”
I stop realizing what this could mean. Who she could be.
“You’re the one from the story”
She quirk her head to the side.
“The story?”, she is confused because it’s not just a story
“You are. . .are you—“
She takes off her shade and the whites of her eyes are bloodstained. Her pupils are an ugly mix of splotchy white, purple and green, her eyelashes are gone.
“I’m. . . April’s sister."
She was the human who had been stolen and replaced with April. The human who been turned into a Fae.
She stops and coughs for several seconds.
“You must be Cillian O’Conner. . . the murderer, the fighter, the shedder of blood. It is only fitting.”
“Hey”, I stop myself from yelling, “Stop talking and I’ll take you to Ty’s.”
She follows me to Jerry’s car, she puts her shades back on and grabs onto my arm while I'm driving. I floor the gas and drive faster.
“Cillian, this isn’t a story.
. . . don’t you see what you’ve done ?”
"What”, I stick the key in the ignition.
“You would think the worst thing a hero could do in a fairytale was not save the princess, somehow you did something worse.”
My hand shakes at those words, they seem cryptic but maybe I knew all along
“I . . .I”
“You fell in love with The Evil Queen and now you are going to help me stop her.”
++++
Dun DUN DUN
